Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Privacy? Shhh...

Do you have someone in your life that just has to "share?"
That tends to over "share?"
That doesn't have the word discretion in his or her vocabulary?

I do.
Everyone knows this person's business. They let folks  know when the daughter got her period, what the son's grades are, what is wrong or right about their sex life, about the family's finances, the trials and tribulations of their extended family, their troubles, and their successes.
And that's their choice. If they want their family's life to be an open book that is their business.

But here is my problem and you tell me what you think.

This person also talks about my family even though I do not share anything with her. I  have mutual friends expressing their concern that my daughter doesn't have a job yet and asking why she wouldn't take the job that offered $25,000 "because you have to start somewhere!"

I had to listen to another person sympathise with me about the "horrible childhood" our family had and other unsavory things about my parents. News to me.

There are tons of other stories with a similar theme. Recently I bumped into a friendly acquaintance at dinner out with friends, as we stood there catching up she mentioned that she heard that the "over-sharer " and I aren't getting along.

 I didn't want to bad mouth this person or tell the gazillion reasons I am keeping my distance from my "over-sharer."
Yet, I almost felt obligated to defend myself or say something derogatory to explain the distance between us. Or to explain the why a lot of people, not just me have issues with the "over-sharer."
So, I just smiled and said, " you know how it is..."

And that is the hard part for me. I am loyal. I am private. I don't want to bad mouth or gossip about someone close to me, especially someone in my family! And I really don't want to talk to people outside my family about private family matters.
And even though the" over-sharer" doesn't have that same discretion?
I wish she would when it concerned me and my family.

And by the way, your comments are not public. Feel free to share. No one else can read them but me.
In fact, I recently found out that the over-sharer reads my blog and I definitely do not post anything personal these days as I cannot trust that it wont be a topic of conversation with a different spin.
Thought of making this blog private so that I could write the way I want...
Might still.


JMW said...

I can't believe this person is sharing such personal information about your family and thinking this is okay. Boundries, people, boundries! I learned from my grandmother and my mother, there are just some things you don't talk about in public. Sorry that this has made you think about going private, but I've been thinking that way for a while. Do what you think is best. I'll sign up for an invite! :)

Tami said...

It is a shame one person must cause pain on someone else just to make themselves feel better. That tends to be the trend of an "over-sharer".

Barrett said...

I have been in the same boat, sort of. I cannot blog too often and post all that is going on in my family's life because it "might offend someone" in my h's family. Also, my daughter has been stalked by an ex who read my blog and she had to be left out and I had to stay silent for a while because he repeated things to her that I was posting. I have since told my kid's that my blog was my business and to not share it with their friends from this day forward. I also adopted the attitude that I was not going to sensor my life (in blogland) so that others didn't get their feelings hurt. My daughter is going through a similar "drama" with her roommates at college. It is very hard staying a civil and telling someone to butt out at the same time. I can only stay silent for so long to keep the peace. I have a hard time hiding my emotions. Good luck with your over sharer. Maybe they'll read this post move on to more important things.

Susan said...

OMG... horrifying, only now just read this - should I be watching my back???????????

OHN said...

Yikes. If she reads your blog you just called her out. Sadly, she will probably twist it around somehow. She sounds like she is a miserable person and so unhappy with HER life it makes her feel better to think that others lives suck too.

Hey...oversharer....get a blog to bitch about your family and issues. That's what did :-)