How about enemies?
Trust me. This isn't negative.
Some people have a "bucket list," a list of all the things they want to do before they die.
I have an "apology list."
I'm not a part of a twelve step ( or is it ten step? ) program. I just know that there are certain people that I would like to apologise to before I die.
Or should I say before they die?
Yes, unfortunately one of my friends from my childhood/teens/twenties who I had drifted apart from and had always assumed that I would reconnect with... passed on.
This happened about two years ago and I have such regret that we weren't able to meet so that I could forgive her for past transgressions and more importantly, ask for forgiveness for my past actions.
Well, the top person on my apology list is my first college roommate. I will preface this story with the fact that I came from a strict, (almost controlling,) household regarding cleaning. We had a lot of chores and every Saturday all of us sisters did the equivalent of what would be considered Spring cleaning.
Every Saturday. Right Frau?
Anyway, I get to college and I feel so free. No cleaning, no responsibility other than my schoolwork.
My boyfriend slept over a lot, I left dishes in the sink, I left garbage on the counter, I left lights on, doors unlocked...
I could go on and on.
And my roommate could not stand me!
Can you blame her?
I thought she was a total #@%& and a nag and couldn't believe how uptight and rigid she was.
Of course I didn't see how inconsiderate and rude I was.
In fact, I don't think I saw it clearly until I was a mother and looked back to my college days more objectively. And then as my children began to go off to school I was horrified.
What if they ended up with a roommate... like me?!!!
So, over the years I would tell them how bad I had been and how ashamed I am for having behaved that way so many years ago, telling them to make sure they are considerate and tolerant.
And now because of facebook I have found that poor girl that suffered for an entire year with me as a roommate from hell.
I haven't contacted her yet.
But I plan on "friending" her this week. Of course there will have to be a message accompanying the request, otherwise I doubt she would accept me as her "friend."
The message will be,
"Hi Katy, it's Patty from freshman year at (blank college) I want you to know that I am so sorry for being the worst roommate ever. I really am ashamed about how I behaved back then and hope you will forgive me."
I already feel better!