Tuesday, October 26, 2010

While we're on the subject of...

my foul mouth, actually I don't really have a foul mouth.
I just swear a lot, but only when I am driving and playing paddle.
This wouldn't be a problem if I were always alone, however I am usually ferrying kids about AND you can't play paddle alone- so that means there are always TONS of witnesses to my cursing and swearing.

Sure, I try.
I start off with 'Oh SUGAR!" or "Darn it!" and sometimes "FUDGE!!!"
But if things don't get better-such as the person cutting me off in the A&P parking lot or the fact that my lob just left the court for the fifth time.... well.... my control erodes and my cute little phrases quickly escalate to blown up, full throttle profanities.

On the paddle court I usually apologize ahead of time. The other players always say, "Oh don't worry, you should hear me!"
But I never do.
No one else curses on the court. Hmmm. I take that back. Lately I notice my partner uttering expletives under her breath. I think I am to blame.

As for the car... there is no cure. I am incapable of reacting to bad drivers without some type of bad word.  I am able to control it when my parents or in-laws are in the car.
I wonder why?
Maybe a primal, early childhood fear of soap in my mouth?


kks said...

that's funny....i swear too, but can always control it around my folks...

The Preppy Pre-Med said...

I have quite the mouth. It's an issue. I really only curse when I'm upset about something or way too tired/stressed. Case in point: 2 days of 3 hours of sleep and I'm back in the library writing a lab report from hell...I think every other word out of my mouth right now is inappropriate for children. I also just flipped out at the public safety officer that sped by and splashed dirty water all over me. Thankfully, he laughed.

Formerly known as Frau said...

Must run in the family! The fear of soap not the swearing! lol!

Ronda said...

You are so %#@&*^! funny!!

Susan said...

The only time I use the bad language is in the car. I swear my car posses me or something. It's always in traffic and my word of choice is Jacka--.
I've never had a mouth washed out though. Lucky me.
Reminds me of that spot in the movie "A Christmas Story"..."Oh Fuuuuuuudge. Only I didn't say fudge. I said the granddaddy of them all, the F dash, dash, dash."
Then you see Ralphie sitting on the toilet with a red bar of Life Boy soap in his mouth. Classic.

Sis Beth said...

When in my workout class I start with nice words like Fruitcakes, or fudge and by the end of the class I sound like a trucker gal. Do not be so hard on yourself. What is it they say ? " people who driver slower than you are idiots and the ones who drive faster than you are crazy".

Ina in Alaska said...

Don't worry. I too am a bad Jersey Girl in Alaska, spreading my own form of "cheer" xoxo

OHN said...

Stupid drivers are either assholes or shitheads. Plain and simple. Seriously....just think about how many times only a bad word can truly express your emotions. For me, too many times a day to count :)

Joyce said...

Does this little jar come in barrel size?!!! Cute. xo